A Call to my Brothers and Sisters in Christ . . .

As the news broke out of the Supreme Court ruling on same sex marriage on Friday, I felt myself starting to grieve.  But not because of what you might think.  There has been a lot of animosity on both sides, and I want to address the piece of it I’ve seen on the part of some Christians.  There has been a lot of “stands” for Christ made and a lot of self-righteousness being portrayed.  Even in the social media posts about how we will still love the sinner even though we hate the sin, there is self-righteousness portrayed.  There is an air of “if I love Jesus – I have to make it known that I think homosexual sin is wrong or I won’t be doing Jesus justice.  As a Christian, I have to stand up for God's word, for what is right”.  In general, there’s nothing wrong with standing up for what's right.  In fact, it’s a very admirable quality.  Let me ask you this though, how is telling social media that you are against homosexual marriage, standing for what is right?  How is putting a blanket statement out there like that going to help bring about the turning of hearts toward God and restoration?  Are you really mourning for the state of their souls or are you doing it more for you?  To prove something about you?

For those of you shouting  -  “We need to do something about this!  This isn’t right!  How could our country get to this point?!”  - I would ask you to really consider that question.  How did we get to this point?  Do you think that progression of sin happens overnight?  Do you think that there is this class of “them” (people who are “large” sinners) and “us” (people who having been doing right all along and maybe sin in some “small” areas, but would not get so bad as to “go there”)?  How do you think people in general have gotten to this point in their depravity?

    

I would argue that our not thought about, un-repented, not mourned over “smaller” sins are the very thing that has brought us to this point.  We are a people who are so busy looking outward, pointing our finger outward, we have lost the art of self-reflection.  And with that inability - over the generations – the apathy toward self-reflection has sent us further and further into things that help us “feel good” or “numb” what is really going on in our lives.  And eventually one thing leads to another.  I get it.  It’s so much easier to feel like we are ok if we can identify someone out there who is “worse” than us to think about and try to argue with over right and wrong.  It’s much easier to see the sin in others than in ourselves.  I get it.  I have done it and still do it too.  (Ask my husband… J)  With the Holy Spirit's help, I am now striving to look inward. 

“What about truth in love?” -  you ask. “ Aren’t we supposed to still reveal the truth to those who are lost and can’t see it for themselves?” 

Yes, of course.  But how do you suppose we go about portraying that love when we are talking truth?  Do you think a stranger or even an acquaintance who sees you post about how their sin is wrong is going to feel that it is in love that you are laying this truth out?  How can they know your heart is for them if you have no relationship with them?  I would go even further to say that even if you have a relationship with them, this is something you would want to be guided by the Holy Spirit for and wait for a softened heart, one that is broken and questioning.  Wait for a heart of your own that is truly grieved for your friend and is deeply moved to keep them from things that will hurt them, rather than one that only wants to point out the facts you think you know.  God moves people to repentance – we don’t.  God moves people to pure mourning and love that results in humble pure motives for revealing truth.     

Finally, I would like for you to consider how Jesus reacted to the sins of the self-righteous.  The few times we see Jesus display anger are not toward the lost, but toward the Christians.  He overturned the tables in the temple.  (Christians making a mockery of the sacrifice and temple)  He laid into the Pharisees in the book of Matthew talking about how they are whitewashed tombs (caring more about “getting it right” and following the letter of  law than about the heart behind it)  Again – Religious leaders. 

Even in the old testament, in the book of Jeremiah, God talks about faithless Israel (who cared little about what God thought about her immorality) as more righteous than unfaithful Judah(who still clung on to religion on the side – but still did the same things as Israel).   The one who worshiped God in pretense but did not look at her sins and turn from them was worse to God than those who had no faith.

Jeremiah 3:9-11New International Version (NIV)

⁹ Because Israel’s immorality mattered so little to her, she defiled the land and committed adultery with stone and wood. ¹⁰ In spite of all this, her unfaithful sister Judah did not return to me with all her heart, but only in pretense,” declares the Lord.

¹¹ The Lord said to me, “Faithless Israel is more righteous than unfaithful Judah”

So are we to act vehemently about these issues or mourn for how we’ve gotten here and repent?  Are we to be enraged at where we are as a nation or realize the part we’ve played being complacent in ourselves and grieve for the things that are now commonplace that replace the hole in our hearts for Jesus?  I for one am grieving and not just for the depravity that has overtaken our world but the un-reflected on self-righteousness and anger that is coming from those of us who are brothers and sisters in Christ.  This has been heavy on my heart for a long time.  Not just because of this ruling and the response to it.  I've seen it happen again and again in so many other areas.  This is the first time I've had words to put to it.  My heart hurts for you all, my brothers and sisters in Christ.  My heart hurts for those who would be repelled from Christ on account of any of us.  And my heart hurts for what we have each gone through in our lives that has brought us individually to where we are now.  Those undisclosed hurts, aches, longings to be loved, that are hidden so deeply in each of us.  Those things that have shaped us.  I see it in each person's eyes.  And I am moved by how immeasurably valuable and loved and longed for we each are by our Father God.      

This is a call to mourning.  This is a call to humility.  

     

Discovering . . .

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6 NIV)

He will carry it on to completion! 

But we have a part in this too.

Do we seek Gods will for our lives and take steps toward this or do we sit back and wait for things to come to us?

We are to spur each other on.

IS this something that should come with guilty compliance? 

NO.

God wants more than that for you.

God wants passion - He wants to see you loving what you are doing in serving Him. 

He wants to see you digging in to know the person that He created in you. 

What are your talents? 

What are your gifts? 

What do you find yourself drawn to? 

What are your weaknesses?

Where are the broken pieces in your life? 

And how can we as the body of Christ build up one another through our weaknesses and encourage the gifts we openly see? 

Let's seek our part in God’s kingdom and let’s do it! 

Will we make mistakes along the way? - yes.

Will we do things that aren't suited for us or just in vain pursuit? Yes. 

That is part of the process, but let's help each other through the process.  Let's be part of the 20% of the church that really gets it and then let's bring everyone with us!

God is working in every single person - but he is also working THROUGH those who love him. 

That's you and me. 

He wants us to be a piece of the puzzle. 

He never meant it to be done by one person or even a few people - He wants us all!

Speaking of Lent . . .

This year for Lent I wanted to be very intentional about the 40 days leading up to our savior's death and resurrection.  

So I did a little looking around and found some things we are going to incorporate into the 40 days as a family. 

Some are for tradition and honor and beauty and simplicity.  And some are things to do to dig deeper and empty ourselves to be filled with more of Jesus.

Here's what it looks like for our family -

We are Conducting a Gratitude experiment - inspired by Glennon Doyle. 
 (We will each come up with 3 things we were thankful for each day and write them in our gratitude journal)

We will read a lent devotional

We will light candles representing each day in observance of the 40 days to resurrection Sunday 


We will take turns saying this simple prayer as we light the candles
"Lord God - empty us - so that we may be filled with more of you"

We will take communion

Over the course of the 40 day period: 

 - Each family member will choose a way they would like to serve others and we will do it


 - Each family member will find One thing to give up or give away each day and commit to giving it or giving it up the following day


I personally am planning on intentionally observing my life and finding beauty in the small things. Actually tasting my food, lingering over scents, seeing the things around me, hearing the earthly sounds. 

And Of course I plan on and desire for more Jesus - and for me -  I have a feeling he will be found in those intentional moments.



Now that you know the plan - let's talk about what brought me here - because the story behind things is just as important as the things we do.  

Two years ago - I thought nothing of Lent.  I thought it was just something that "Catholics" do.  We celebrated Easter and we made it about the resurrection, but I didn't "get" what the deal was with this 40 days before. Personally I thought it was some weird tradition thing they did - like saying the rosary 10 times.  And I was more laid back than that.  I didn't need any weird tradition without purpose to celebrate Easter.

Oh how God has slowly changed me.  

Last year I started looking into Lent and even gave up something for it.  But I still wasn't sure why or what it was all about, I just knew I was becoming more intrigued and more curious about something that I, frankly, snubbed my nose about before.  God was giving me the desire without anyone telling me I "should".  Without any previous tradition ingrained in me or any church background that did this - I became intrigued with Lent.  

Fast forward to this year.  

As I thought more and more about it, the 40 days before became about honoring God and purposefully using tradition to slow us down and really reflect on the sacrifice Jesus made for us.  And I think that's a good thing.  I think its not only good for me - but good for my kids too.  

And it doesn't have to be something that everyone else does.  I didn't feel pressured to do exactly as the Catholics do or any other church - I felt the Spirit whispering to me that it should be personal.  I looked into what others were doing as ideas and for example - but in the end we came up with things that fit into our family and what would challenge and slow us.  Things that would have us thinking of Jesus more often and ourselves less.

Let me tell you - so far it has been frustrating and amazing at the same time!  Frustrating because we are trying something new and I had expectations of how it would look and how it would go and how it would feel.  My kids wiggly bodies and obsession with the flame on the candles thought otherwise.  I had to die to my expectations and love the good that was coming out of it despite it all.

The most awesome things are happening with my kids.  And it is blowing me away.  

The things they are grateful for.  

The things they are choosing to give up or give away. 

 The service projects they have chosen. 


 Blow. Me. Away.


No wonder Jesus said we must become like little children.  No wonder.

My oldest wants to feed the homeless.  He has given up complaining one day, TV another, procrastination today, etc, etc.

My middle child wants to help people with cancer and she is willing to raise money to do that.

And my sweet baby - she wants to serve her sister!  She wants to bring her food, help her with her room, ask if she needs a blanket, and on and on.

Oh to be more like these children.


I will end with this.  I will end with gratitude. 

These are the joys God has given me today.

My sweet kiddos and their open hearts. 

A Sweet contagious smile of a little face with HUGE backpack on her back as she hops off to school  

A Daddy wearing a pink backpack as he walks his daughter into school

and most of all - the Grace Jesus gives us everyday to start anew.



Speaking of Lent - 

What is God showing you today?


  



                 

Striving . . .

Colossians 2:20-23

Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: Do not handle!  Do not taste! Do not touch!

These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings.  Such regulations have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility, and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

I want the beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit, Lord. 

I do not want to be STRIVING, trying too hard, pushing myself to be better, look better, get things under control. 

That is fake beauty – forced strength – whitewashed tomb of control.

I hate that.  But I also hate my idols, God.  I hate how I use food, sleep, “distractions” -  Not for the health of my body or soul, but for pleasure – out of boredom – out of sadness – to feel happy.

I want food to nourish my body, sleep to repair my mind, “distractions” to be used as they were intended and no more.

I want to respect the life of the animal that was given for my food.  I want to respect the labor of the farmer who toiled for my vegetables and wheat.

I feel so removed from all of that.  Nothing is respected and sacred anymore.  It is all a gluttonous, fast-paced process.  It is a packaged process.  Not a beauty to be thought of and admired. 

How great is the working of the earth to provide for us to eat?!  It is beautiful.  It is amazing. 

But how can we slow down enough to notice amazing when everything is “ease of use” – “convenience”.

I want to slow down.  Notice.  Give thanks.  Breathe deep.  Take in beauty. 

I feel like my body is mush.  It is not used in strength to provide or create.  My muscles need to be used and not just for “looking good” – but because that’s what it longs for.  To work and feel satisfied.  I need to feel like my muscles are being used for a purpose, not just to “work-out”.  I want to use them to provide for something. 

Building, creating, comforting, growing, helping.

How do I do this Lord?

It feels like I am an old soul trapped in the monotony of this new-fangled world.  (Yes I just used “new-fangled”)  

But this is where I am.  This is where I was placed.  What am I to do here?  Now?

I can long to be in a different time – living in a different way all I want.  That does not change where I am now.  

How does this yearning help your kingdom now?  Here?  In this place?

How can I live in simplicity, live in solidarity, live in respect and slowness and intentionality?

This is my current prayer and longing and God is leading me step by step.

It starts here in the Lenten season.  Here in the 40 days before the marking of Christ’s resurrection.  God is preparing my heart.  I am starting to see.

It is not about self-control the way the world views self-control.  It is not about looking good on the outside. 

It is about respect, beauty and honor.

It is about our hearts being hardened in this fast-paced world to the way of life that keeps us from having these idols. 

For our own good, life was slow back then.  For our own good, people broke bread, gave thanks, and honored the food.  Back then there were not clocks or alarms constantly reminding us of how little time we had and how fast we were going to need to move to get everything done. 

No wonder we have anxiety.  No wonder we have to go to “gyms” to keep our bodies from deteriorating.  But we have lost the purpose in these endevours.  The end result of dieting and working out may be the same – a lean body – but we have lost the purpose.

 And isn’t that what it boils down to in most everything in life?  What is the purpose?

 Not the desired end result – but the motive. 

Not the action – but the heart behind the action.

I am starting to realize when we do things the way they were intended – and quit taking short-cuts, quit putting more activities and more things into our space – quit filling our heart with ill motives – the end result will come without the striving.

 It will come without the trying too hard.

 It will come without the white-washed tomb of control. 

And if it doesn’t come exactly the way we think it should – we will have joy and peace with what we did in the moments.  We will side-step guilt and self-condemnation because we “failed” the world’s standard.  I think that’s when we truly live.       

Broken . . .

Not sure what to do with this, but it's on my heart in a big way right now and has been inching its way in over the last few years.....


What is it?  What is it about this world?  

So broken, yet so beautiful. 

There is beauty in our brokenness.  Brokenness brings us to our face.  There is nothing more beautiful than someone on their face, someone open in the way only brokenness can bring. There is revival on the horizon. God is moving in such a mighty way right now!  Can you feel it?

Maybe you are where I was 3 years ago. . .  

Going through the motions, trying to keep my head above water.  So many things happening in my life.  My marriage on the brink of divorce with infidelity - a child on anti-depressants - myself depressed -my body being worn down little by little- and no one I could even talk to about it.  

But I just pushed on and pushed it down.  

What's wrong with that you say?  Isn't that a good thing?  Being able to push through when things are going wrong.  "Stay strong", they say.  That's what the world wants you to do. Sometimes that's even what fellow Christians want you to do.  

Stay strong and then we won't have to worry about you so much.  

Stay strong and we can feel ok about the fact that were too busy to come alongside you in your darkest hour.  

Stay strong so we can prove to others that that's what being a Christian is all about.  

We'll be ok, we're Christians - we can stay strong and pretend everything is fine - because weakness and brokenness show a lack of faith, right? 

NO.  Again I say No!  

God doesn't want us to be strongmen and women.  He didn't design us to do it on our own.  He designed us for dependence on Him.  He designed us to need other people to come beside us and let us know they are in this with us to the end. 

So why then do we wear these masks?
  
Why then do we cover the real us behind a facade, behind a fake smile - all the while we're screaming inside!

Satan has twisted this world so badly.  There is a heresy in thinking being strong is a sign of spiritual maturity.  Satan wants you to believe that.  Because if you do, you'll just keep hiding behind your smile - hiding behind the fig trees - and never feel safe enough to let go. 

Fear is so gripping.  We can be afraid of so many things.  
But guess what? 
Perfect Love will cast out fear. 

I'm not talking about any other Love than the Love our father has for us.  No human being, nor anything of this earth will fill us with the kind of Love that casts out fear.  If you aren't experiencing that Love - it's not because God isn't trying to show it to you.  

Could it be because you are so fearful of what might happen if you let your guard down... if you are real?  Is it because you have put up a wall that is so thick, you cannot even notice God knocking, calling out to you?  

Have you ever had a child who was so hurt by something and all you wanted to do was embrace them and let them cry in the safety of your arms?  But then when you hold out your arms to them - they push you away and run off to deal with things on their own.  It's a sad day for our creator when He's extending to you all you'll ever need in His embrace and we push away.  

It breaks his heart.  But He lets us.  He knows we have to get to the point of running to him with abandon -  with freedom -  or we will never know the true depth of His Love for us.   

There is freedom in falling on your face.  

There's freedom in knowing that it's ok to not have it all together. 

Be broken before your God. 

If you think you aren't broken, you haven't dug deep enough.  You've got to remove a few more masks.  Be broken before God.  

Be broken before people too. 

If you have no one to be broken with right now, ask God to bring someone into your life.  And on the opposite side, when we feel that tugging to be that "someone" for another person -answer the call.  Don't push it aside.  God is asking you to participate in something bigger than all of us. Revival.

Three years ago I was where you are - confused, hurt, broken - trying my hardest to keep it under wraps.  Then God brought people alongside me to show me it was ok to be broken and confused.  Not just ok, but beautiful.  And that God never intended for us to "have it all together" - so stop trying and just let it be.  For it's when we give up trying to do it on our own and fall into Gods embrace that the healing truly begins.