Striving . . .

Colossians 2:20-23

Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: Do not handle!  Do not taste! Do not touch!

These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings.  Such regulations have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility, and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

I want the beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit, Lord. 

I do not want to be STRIVING, trying too hard, pushing myself to be better, look better, get things under control. 

That is fake beauty – forced strength – whitewashed tomb of control.

I hate that.  But I also hate my idols, God.  I hate how I use food, sleep, “distractions” -  Not for the health of my body or soul, but for pleasure – out of boredom – out of sadness – to feel happy.

I want food to nourish my body, sleep to repair my mind, “distractions” to be used as they were intended and no more.

I want to respect the life of the animal that was given for my food.  I want to respect the labor of the farmer who toiled for my vegetables and wheat.

I feel so removed from all of that.  Nothing is respected and sacred anymore.  It is all a gluttonous, fast-paced process.  It is a packaged process.  Not a beauty to be thought of and admired. 

How great is the working of the earth to provide for us to eat?!  It is beautiful.  It is amazing. 

But how can we slow down enough to notice amazing when everything is “ease of use” – “convenience”.

I want to slow down.  Notice.  Give thanks.  Breathe deep.  Take in beauty. 

I feel like my body is mush.  It is not used in strength to provide or create.  My muscles need to be used and not just for “looking good” – but because that’s what it longs for.  To work and feel satisfied.  I need to feel like my muscles are being used for a purpose, not just to “work-out”.  I want to use them to provide for something. 

Building, creating, comforting, growing, helping.

How do I do this Lord?

It feels like I am an old soul trapped in the monotony of this new-fangled world.  (Yes I just used “new-fangled”)  

But this is where I am.  This is where I was placed.  What am I to do here?  Now?

I can long to be in a different time – living in a different way all I want.  That does not change where I am now.  

How does this yearning help your kingdom now?  Here?  In this place?

How can I live in simplicity, live in solidarity, live in respect and slowness and intentionality?

This is my current prayer and longing and God is leading me step by step.

It starts here in the Lenten season.  Here in the 40 days before the marking of Christ’s resurrection.  God is preparing my heart.  I am starting to see.

It is not about self-control the way the world views self-control.  It is not about looking good on the outside. 

It is about respect, beauty and honor.

It is about our hearts being hardened in this fast-paced world to the way of life that keeps us from having these idols. 

For our own good, life was slow back then.  For our own good, people broke bread, gave thanks, and honored the food.  Back then there were not clocks or alarms constantly reminding us of how little time we had and how fast we were going to need to move to get everything done. 

No wonder we have anxiety.  No wonder we have to go to “gyms” to keep our bodies from deteriorating.  But we have lost the purpose in these endevours.  The end result of dieting and working out may be the same – a lean body – but we have lost the purpose.

 And isn’t that what it boils down to in most everything in life?  What is the purpose?

 Not the desired end result – but the motive. 

Not the action – but the heart behind the action.

I am starting to realize when we do things the way they were intended – and quit taking short-cuts, quit putting more activities and more things into our space – quit filling our heart with ill motives – the end result will come without the striving.

 It will come without the trying too hard.

 It will come without the white-washed tomb of control. 

And if it doesn’t come exactly the way we think it should – we will have joy and peace with what we did in the moments.  We will side-step guilt and self-condemnation because we “failed” the world’s standard.  I think that’s when we truly live.